Words
by faultybooster
Summary: Insecurity is a troublesome thing. Especially when it's Ron's. And there's only one person who can make it truly disappear.
1. Chapter 1

**Words**

**Author's Note**: Okay. So…first off, happy 2012! Secondly, I should tell you that I'm so incredibly nervous about posting the first chapter of this, my second multi-chapter story. And that's because I haven't finished it yet. I've only got six chapters completed. I've never in my life shared anything that wasn't already complete and I'm a tad freaked out about screwing up somewhere in the storyline and forgetting something vital, therefore compromising a portion of the plot. But I have ideas written down and the general plot of the story is stored within my head, which is usually the safest place for me to hold information. Essentially, I'm taking a huge chance here, but I'm itching to share what I got. Lastly, I hope you'll enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: not mine.

**Chapter One: The Possibility of Mortification at its Finest**

The tension was thick. Almost sickeningly so.

Hermione Granger had been on the run with Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter for months now, and although the three of them were best friends, Hermione was finding it extremely difficult to share a tent with two boys.

As brilliant as she was considered to be by several of her peers in both the Muggle and Wizarding worlds, there were some things she hadn't really considered when she'd made the decision to aid Harry in locating the missing Horcruxes. These "things" could actually be summed in one very simple and very obvious point – Hermione was a girl, and Ron and Harry were boys.

Simple, yet Hermione found it difficult. And obvious, yet she hadn't thought about what it meant until the actual living arrangements began. This was different from when they were on holidays at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place. This meant sharing the same bathroom with two boys. This meant having to hide her discomfort when she was having her monthly period. This meant having to be careful about where she changed her clothes lest the boys accidentally see something they shouldn't.

But all of this she could live with if not for one hugely inconvenient problem. For sharing a small space with Harry and Ron meant that Hermione had no privacy whatsoever to relieve herself of her constant sexual frustration.

Today was a particularly bad day. No matter how hard she attempted to concentrate on her book, her mind inevitably wandered. Visions of the red-haired wizard she once considered her best friend assaulted her conscience and she scowled in frustration.

He had turned up a few days ago, weeks after he'd abandoned them. And regardless of her anger with him, the same night he'd returned, coincidentally so did her sexual desires. It had almost entirely disappeared with his absence, but only because Hermione had been too preoccupied with being miserable.

She had known since their second year at Hogwarts that she liked Ron much differently from the way she liked Harry. And now, in what should have been their seventh and final year, she knew she loved Ron in a way she would never love Harry, or any other man for that matter.

She was in love with Ron. She'd never met anyone who could make her feel so much at one time. And she knew it would always be this way.

Tonight was a perfect example. She was torn between wanting to punch him, insult him, kiss him, cry on him, and have sex with him – all at the same time. And it had always been for Hermione that the angrier she was with Ron, the more she wanted him. Badly.

She rubbed her thighs together in an attempt to dull the ache between her legs and sighed in frustration when it only heightened her sensitivity.

'To hell with this,' she whispered to herself, and stepped out of the tent with the intention of going for a walk.

The fresh winter air soothed her heated skin, and she closed her eyes in momentary relief before having to face Ron and Harry sitting a few feet away from the entrance of the tent. She almost considered leaving without telling them but knew it would only cause unnecessary panic if they discovered her missing.

She opened her eyes and gave herself a few moments to look at Ron. She hadn't spoken to him since the night he'd come back. It hurt her but she couldn't trust him anymore. And so each day he'd been back, she allowed herself a moment when she could stare at him unabashedly and dream about things being different. Ron would have never left; he'd tell her he loved her; and then he'd be inside of her, where even he believed he belonged.

She shook her head, looked towards Harry and called out his name.

'Yeah, Hermione?' Harry answered.

She could feel Ron's eyes on her and used all of her willpower not to turn her head.

'I'm going for a short walk around the forest,' she said. 'I've got my wand, and I won't be long. I just … I just need some air.'

She felt Ron's eyes burning into the side of her face and she took a deep breath in an effort to calm herself.

'Okay, Hermione. Please be careful.' Harry said.

'I will,' she promised. And as she turned to leave, her resolve broke and she chanced a quick look at Ron.

There was something in his expression she couldn't read. He gazed at her expectantly, and Hermione abruptly turned around and walked away, missing the frown on his face.

With every step she took, she felt calmer but, oddly enough, no less frustrated. She moved further away from the tent until she could only see it in the distance. Still, she knew she had to be quick as there was no telling how soon Ron or Harry would come looking for her.

She found a spot amongst the trees which she deemed safe enough to do what she needed to do. Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground and lay down on her back, shivering against the light frost underneath her. She slid her hands over her breasts, and then moved lower until she reached the hem of her jumper. She pushed it up until her bra was exposed, and then pulled down the cups, freeing her breasts. She licked her fingers and pinched and pulled at her nipples, envisioning them being encased in Ron's wet and warm mouth. Her back arched and she moaned as her mind conjured visions of Ron touching her in ways she'd dreamed about for years.

She moved her right hand down to the button of her jeans, undoing it, and then pulled down the zip. Her hand snaked beneath the fabric of her knickers and her fingers moved over her clit, causing her to gasp aloud. They moved in a familiar rhythm and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from panting out Ron's name. That was something she never allowed herself to do. The idea of calling out his name only for him to never hear it was unbearable. Rather, she moaned louder as she moved her fingers inside of her, imagining what Ron's cock would feel like instead. She was very close to coming and knew that this final thought would push her over the edge.

Her moans and whimpers increased in volume, and she bit down on her free hand to stifle the sound, remembering she hadn't cast a silencing charm. But she was too far-gone to do anything about it now. She was so incredibly close.

'Hermione?'

Her eyes shot open, and with a speed almost inhumanly possible, she pulled up her bra, yanked down her jumper, cast a cleaning spell on her fingers, and zipped up her jeans.

Panting, she sat up, her eyes scanning for Ron. _Oh, Merlin, please, please tell me didn't see me_, she thought desperately. Her head moved frantically in every direction until she finally spotted him standing not too far away from where she remained hidden. He was looking to his left with a worried expression on his face.

'Hermione!' he called again. He still hadn't noticed her.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she stood up.

'What do you want?' she asked.

She was angry that he had interrupted her just as she was about to come. That, coupled with the fact that she still hadn't forgiven him, left her extremely irritated.

His head whipped around as he heard her voice, and his shoulders sagged in relief. He licked his lips as he stared at her, and the ache in her core throbbed painfully.

'Well?' she demanded. Regardless of how she felt on the inside, over the years she had mastered the art of masking her need for Ron through her anger.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, his voice hoarse. 'I – I just wanted to see if you were okay.'

She wanted to melt in his arms, but kept up her façade.

'And what made you think I wasn't?' she asked, as she crossed her arms over her breasts.

For a moment, Ron's gaze dropped to her chest, and she felt her nipples tighten at the look on his face. _It's only because you're the only girl around to look at_, she silently scolded herself. The cold truth only angered her further and she stomped her foot in frustration, causing Ron's head to snap up.

'I asked you a question, Ronald,' she snapped.

His features glazed over with rage.

'Fuck, Hermione!' he yelled. 'I'm fucking sorry for bothering you, but I was worried, okay?'

She snorted in disgust, as her irritation grew.

'What about? That I'd leave? Like _you_ did?' she retorted.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.

Ron gasped in shock, and stared at her for a long moment before his features crumpled, and he dropped his head in shame. His stance spoke of a man defeated before he'd barely begun the battle. Hermione's heart broke for him, but she couldn't back down. Not now. Not after what he'd put her through.

'I'll never forgive myself for leaving,' he murmured, after what seemed like hours of silence. Hermione could only wait quietly, not trusting herself to speak calmly.

'I hate that I did that to you … and Harry. You have to believe that,' he almost begged. He looked up at her then, a man broken by his own stupidity, and she wanted to hold him. Stubbornly, she remained rooted to her spot.

'I came out here to find you. I wanted to apologise again and just – just talk to you. I … I missed that. I missed _you_.' He paused and swallowed hard.

Her whole body screamed at her to move closer to him, but her mind reminded her ever so bluntly that his words were born out of his love for her as a friend and nothing more.

'But then I heard you moaning, and I panicked. That's why I was worried. That's why I asked if you were okay. I thought you were in pain,' he said.

Hermione's body warmed with embarrassment as she realised just how close she was to getting caught masturbating by Ron, of all people. She hoped he wouldn't notice her blush.

'But I can see you're fine,' he continued, oblivious to her reddening face. 'And you obviously still don't wanna talk to me. Sorry for bothering you.' And he turned away from her.

The sight of his back to her recalled the memory of the very night he left. She'd run after him, calling his name, and he hadn't even given her the courtesy of facing her. Her rage bubbled up to the surface.

'Leaving again, Ron?' she screamed.

He froze mid-step, and whipped around to face her. Angrily, he strode over to her until they were separated by only a few feet.

'Damn it, Hermione! What the bloody fuck do you want from me? How many times can I say I'm sorry? You don't wanna hear it. Fuck, you don't even wanna talk to me!' he yelled.

She opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off.

'Harry's forgiven me. What do I have to fucking do to get you to do the same? Tell me!' He stopped then, and closed his eyes, breathing heavily.

Hermione didn't know how to answer him. How could she tell him that she'd forgive him in a heartbeat if he told her he loved her and wanted her just as much as she loved and wanted him? Her vision blurred.

'Hermione,' Ron said calmly, his blue eyes boring into hers. 'Tell me what I have to do. You're my best friend. You have to know that I'd do anything for you. Just … fuck, just tell me.'

She couldn't tell him. She _wouldn't_ tell him.

'Ron,' she whispered brokenly. 'Leave me alone.'

She couldn't stop the sob that escaped her, and buried her head in her hands, unable to watch him walk away from her yet again.

She heard him move, refusing to lift her head, and then gasped in shock as she felt his arms wrap around her.

'Never,' he said, and held her tightly against him.

Before she could control herself, her hands were on his chest, gripping his jumper as if her life depended on it, and she cried freely against him.

'Promise,' she sobbed as her body shook with her pain.

'I promise,' he whispered. 'I'll never leave you again. Even if you threaten to hex my bloody bits off.'

She chuckled and relaxed into his embrace, best friends once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: Thanks for your reviews, and addition of this story to your alerts and favourites!

**Disclaimer**: not mine.

**Chapter Two: A Silent Promise**

Ron felt lighter than he had in months.

For a moment it didn't matter that the entire wizarding world was in danger. It didn't matter that he most likely would die fighting alongside his best friend. What did matter was that the girl in his arms had forgiven him.

He'd been such a bloody fool to leave Harry and Hermione. As she cried softly against his chest, it slowly became clearer to him how much pain he has caused her when he walked away.

He concentrated on the feel of her, so warm and soft and alive. Hermione was everything to Ron – he knew this with certainty now.

It sickened him to think that if something had happened to her in his absence, his last words to her would have been 'I get it. You choose him.' Because in the end, it didn't matter who she chose; he'd keep her in any way he could.

He'd by lying if he said he didn't prefer that it was him she chose, as he was madly in love with her. And, although he was only seventeen, he knew he'd always love her. And even if he couldn't have her completely, he still wanted her safe. Even if it meant sacrificing himself to make it so.

In their previous years, Ron would experience a sick thrill whenever he'd managed to hurt Hermione. Granted, he'd feel disgusted with himself upon reflection. Seven years later, he realised his cruelty stemmed from desire. Desire for her physically, as well as a desire for her to never know what she meant to him. There'd be no end to his utter mortification if she ever found out. Because he knew he didn't deserve her in that way. Hermione deserved the very best, and he wasn't able to provide her with that. The only thing he could offer her was his friendship, and he'd done a shoddy job of that.

As he held her, he silently promised her that he'd never hurt her again. He'd protect her at all costs because now he only felt the sickness when she was in pain.

With a jolt, he suddenly remembered that he'd heard her before he could see her, and her moans had indicated to him that she was hurt.

'Hermione?' he asked.

She looked up at him and Ron forced himself to concentrate on his words rather than her beauty.

'Yes,' she replied, and licked her lips.

Was Ron's imagination getting the best of him? _Of course it is, you idiot_, he thought. _There's no way in hell she would know that licking her lips would directly lead to a fucking twitch in your cock_. He took a deep calming breath and spoke.

'Are you all right? I heard you before and it sounded like you were in pain,' he said.

He watched, puzzled, as her entire face reddened with her blush. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, and then abruptly closed it, her blush deepening.

'What's wrong?' he asked again, his brow furrowed in concern. 'Is it something I can help you with?'

He had to stop himself from falling on his arse as Hermione roughly pushed him away. She closed her eyes and whimpered, her facial expression one of distress.

'What the hell?' Ron exclaimed in surprise.

'N-no,' she choked out. 'I'm fine, Ron.' She took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry I pushed you.'

Ron was so confused.

'But I heard - '

'Ron, please,' she begged. 'Just leave it be. I promise you I'm okay.' She cringed.

Ron knew she was lying to him about something, but seeing as she'd just forgiven him, he didn't want to piss her off.

'All right,' he consented. 'And are we okay, too?' He had to make sure.

She gave him a small smile and nodded.

'Yes, Ron. We're okay,' she said.

Ron couldn't stop his grin. He felt giddy with his relief.

'Let's go back to the tent,' she said. 'I'm cold and tired, and Harry's probably wondering what's taking us.'

_Sod Harry! _Ron thought.

'Yeah, me too,' he said instead, even though it was a lie. He knew he was too hyper to sleep. He'd give Harry a break and offer to keep watch.

He'd need the extra time alone to try and figure out what exactly Hermione was hiding from him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for your reviews, and the addition of this story to your alerts and favourites. Also, after this, chapters will start to get longer.

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**Chapter Three: Forever Oblivious**

Hermione rubbed her clammy hands against her jeans as she walked back to the tent, Ron close beside her.

She was nervous, yet giddy; excited, yet wary. She'd forgiven Ron and while it felt like a huge load had been lifted from her shoulders, she worried about what this meant for her sanity. She knew that now that they were on speaking terms again, it'd be much more difficult for her to find some time alone to relieve herself of her sexual frustration.

She could feel his body heat as he walked next to her, and she shivered at the thought of feeling his skin beneath her hands, scorched because of her touch.

'Are you cold?' Ron asked.

Hermione almost laughed at the unintentional absurdity of his question. She wanted to tell him she was quite the opposite and it was all his fault.

'Quite the opposite,' she said without thinking. Her eyes widened in horror as she clamped her hand over her mouth in shock.

Ron gave her a puzzled look.

'What?'

'Nothing!' she squeaked.

Ron stopped walking and gently took hold of her arm, forcing her to look up at him. He stared down at her and Hermione forced her gaze not to stray to his full lips. Lips she imagined on her own; lips she imagined on her breasts; lips she imagined on her clit. Her body shook with the force of that last image and she closed her eyes as she sucked in a breath.

'Hermione,' Ron said.

She looked up at him again and there was so much concern in his expression. Her heart pounded hard and fast, and she could feel the blush forming on her face.

'We're best friends, aren't we?' he asked, but Hermione could only nod in response.

'Well, then. As best friends, I reckon we can tell each other anything, yeah?' Ron said.

Hermione nodded again.

'You're keeping something from me,' he stated confidently.

_Damn! _Hermione thought. _Why does he choose _now_ to be observant?_

'I'm not,' she protested weakly.

Ron raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

'Liar.'

'I'm not!' she huffed.

'Sure,' Ron said, as he rolled his eyes.

'Damn it, Ron! I'm not!'

'Did you just curse?' Ron asked.

He was so shocked, Hermione couldn't help but laugh. It burst out of her, loud and uncontrollable, and she shook as she succumbed to her giggles.

For a moment, Ron's expression remained blank, and then his lovely mouth twisted into a wide grin, and he laughed with her.

'Sometimes I can't help it,' she chortled. 'It can be quite therapeutic, can't it? Such a relief!'

Ron smirked.

'I've been trying to tell you that for years.'

'Well,' she said as her laughter finally died down, 'you'll be glad to know you're the only one who can coax it out of me.'

'Glad I could help,' Ron said. 'Any other ways I can offer you relief, just say the word.'

Her head shot up so quickly, she was surprised she hadn't snapped her neck. She stared at Ron in utter disbelief.

'Excuse me?' she gasped.

'What?' Ron asked nervously.

'What do you mean by _that_?' she asked incredulously.

'Err...that I'm here to help?' he said. 'What's the problem?'

Clueless. He was hopelessly clueless. Hermione felt equal parts relief and frustration. Ron would forever remain oblivious to his effect on her. And he'd never notice her the way she wanted him to.

'Oh,' she said dejectedly.

She was surprised at how sad she sounded. This was going to be more difficult than she realised. But she had to do it. At the very least for Harry's sake. Never mind the ache she felt in her chest.

'Hermione?' Ron said impatiently. 'Did I miss something? Merlin knows I've never been quick at figuring things out.'

'No,' she lied. She bit her lip in an attempt to stifle her tears. This was absolute torture. Ron was looking at her expectantly and for once, she was at a loss for words.

He sighed in frustration.

'Listen to me, Hermione,' he said. 'I know that I haven't proved it in the past, but I want you to know that from now on, there's not a damn thing in this whole bloody world I wouldn't do for you. I mean that. Okay?'

'Okay,' she whispered. She would not cry.

'Good,' he said. 'Let's get back.'

She walked silently next to him all the way back to the tent. When they reached it, Harry was waiting outside, watching them apprehensively.

'Everything okay?' Harry asked tentatively.

'All's well, mate.' Ron said cheerily.

'Really?' Harry asked disbelievingly.

'Yes, really,' Hermione said, offering Harry a weak smile. 'I'm off to bed. Wake me up when it's my turn to take watch.' And she turned and walked into the tent.

She kicked off her shoes and crawled into her camp bed, not bothering to change her clothes. Her mind reeled as she mulled over what Ron had said to her, wishing that it were completely true. Because regardless of what he'd said, there was one thing Ron would never be able to do for her. And it was really the one thing she wanted the most.

Ron would never be able to tell her he was in love with her and mean it.


	4. A Beneficial Threat

**Author's Note:** Greetings, all! Thanks for your reviews and addition of this story to your alerts and favourites. A couple of things about this chapter - there is no R/Hr interaction; and this is something I've always wanted to see Harry do. I hope you enjoy.

**Chapter Four: A Beneficial Threat**

Ron watched as Hermione walked into the tent, his mind filled with the possibilities of what she could be hiding from him.

'Ron?'

Ron turned to see Harry looking at him with a raised brow.

'Yeah?'

'You all right, mate?' Harry asked.

In response, Ron sighed in frustration and sat himself next to Harry.

'She's hiding something from me.'

'What do you mean?' Harry said.

Ron pointed his wand at the tent's opening and cast Muffliato.

'Wow, that bad?' Harry asked as he stared at the mouth of the tent.

'No,' Ron said. 'Well, maybe. Fuck, I don't know. I just don't want her to hear this.'

'Okay, then. Spit it out.'

Ron exhaled loudly and roughly rubbed at his face.

'Okay, right,' he said. 'I followed her into the forest so I could apologise again, hoping I'd finally come away successful.'

'And you did,' Harry interrupted with a smile.

'Yeah,' Ron agreed, a small smile on his lips. He could still smell her from when they had embraced.

'Okay, go on,' Harry said.

'Sorry. Anyway, I couldn't find her at first. And I started to panic a bit. You know, Harry, I'd go mental if something happened to her. And I'd hate myself forever if she'd been hurt or … worse … ' he paused and swallowed hard ' … while I was gone.'

'Oi!' Harry cried. 'And what about me, you git?'

'Oh, um … ' Ron stuttered. 'Yeah, Harry, 'course I'd feel bad … ' his voice trailed off as Harry started laughing.

'Ron, you daft prick,' Harry snorted. 'I'm only joking.'

'Well, you can piss off, Harry,' Ron laughed, and lightly punched his arm.

'Sorry. I know how much it'd affect you if something bad happened to me. Just as badly as it would affect me if something had happened to you,' Harry said seriously.

'Yeah.' Ron didn't trust himself to say anymore than that. This was a territory he and Harry had never set foot in before.

'But it's different with Hermione. You worry about her in a way that you don't about me, or even your own family,' Harry said.

'Oi, Harry! I _do_ worry about you and my family,' Ron protested.

'I know, mate,' Harry said. 'Believe me, I know. But it's a different kind of worry.'

Ron was genuinely confused.

'What do you mean, Harry?'

'Well … I worry about you and Hermione and your family. Fuck, I even worry about the bloody Dursleys,' Harry said. 'But none of it compares to the way I worry about Ginny.'

'Oh,' Ron said. He suddenly had an idea of where Harry was heading with this conversation and began to feel nervous. Had he been that obvious?

'Why's that, you reckon?' Ron asked, hoping Harry wouldn't hear the quiver in his voice.

'Because I'm in love with her,' Harry answered. 'And you're in love with Hermione,' he added matter-of-factly.

Fuck. He _had_ been that obvious.

'What are you on about?' Ron asked weakly.

'Oh, come off it, Ron!' Harry scoffed. 'You've loved her for years!'

'I … ' Ron stopped and sighed in defeat. 'Yeah, I have,' he admitted.

Harry merely nodded at him in response.

'Fucking Merlin,' Ron said. 'Have I been that obvious?'

'I always suspected it,' Harry said. 'But … ' he stopped, looking uncomfortable.

'But what?' Ron asked.

'Ron, you have to remember – I watched you destroy the locket.'

'Oh,' Ron said again. And immediately felt sick.

He had tried desperately to block the memory of what had happened that night in the forest. Nothing had ever made him as worthless as that damned locket.

'Shit, Ron, I didn't mean to bring it up,' Harry said remorsefully.

'It's all right, Harry,' Ron muttered quietly. 'But I guess You-Know-Who left nothing to the imagination, did he?'

Harry shook his head in response.

'Shit,' Ron said. 'If I've been so obvious that you've noticed, then Hermione must know too.'

'No,' Harry said. 'I reckon she doesn't.'

'Oh, thank Merlin,' Ron breathed.

'You won't tell her?' Harry asked incredulously.

'No fucking way!' Ron cried.

'Why the hell not?'

'Because,' Ron sputtered, 'it'd be embarrassing! She'd never want me!'

Harry opened his mouth as if to say something, but simply shook his head at Ron.

'So what happened in the forest?' he finally asked.

Ron stared at Harry for a moment. He had the distinct feeling Harry had meant to say something else.

'Ron?'

'Um … ' Ron began. 'Like I was saying, I couldn't find her. And then I heard her.'

'You heard her? What do you mean?'

'Well, it sounded like she was hurt. She was … moaning or something,' Ron said.

'Oh, sweet Merlin,' Harry said with his face in his hands.

Ron carried on unperturbed.

'So then I called her name.'

'Oh, no,' Harry said, his voice shaking. 'You didn't.'

'Yeah, I did,' Ron responded. He looked over at Harry. 'You all right, mate?'

To Ron's surprise, Harry burst out laughing.

'Fuck … Ron … moron … ' Harry guffawed.

'What the fuck are you laughing about?' Ron asked confusedly.

'Ron! She was … she was … ' Harry couldn't finish, so overcome was he with laughter. 'And … to think … called her name!'

Ron watched in shock as Harry fell to the ground, giggling uncontrollably.

'What are you laughing about?' Ron asked again in disbelief.

'Oh, my god, Ron,' Harry gasped through his laughter. 'Hermione was _wanking_!'

For a moment, Ron couldn't move or speak. He was so still that he failed to notice Harry had stopped laughing and was looking at Ron with a concerned expression on his face.

'Ron?' Harry asked slowly.

Ron was completely dazed.

'Hmm?'

'You all right?'

Ron turned to Harry and asked a question of his own.

'You're taking the piss again, right?'

'Err … ' said Harry, 'I _could_ be wrong. But I reckon I'm not.'

Ron groaned as his will disappeared and his mind forced an image upon him of Hermione naked and touching herself.

'Fuck,' he hissed, as he felt his blood rush south. 'You can't be serious.'

'Why not?' Harry asked. 'How many times have you sneaked off into the forest? Girls wank, too.'

Ron couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wasn't completely stupid. He _knew_ girls did it, too. But he almost didn't want to know that Hermione did. As hot as it was, he didn't want to ponder who she'd be thinking of while in the act.

'I can't believe you interrupted her,' Harry snorted.

Ron felt his ears redden.

'I didn't know!' he cried, and then a look of horror crossed his features. 'Oh, bloody hell. No, no, no, no, no, NO!' He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands.

'What? What is it?' Harry asked.

'Oh, fuck' Ron moaned. 'Harry, I'm such a bloody idiot!'

'Oh, come on, Ron. It's not so bad. She doesn't have to know.'

'No,' he protested. 'It's not that, Harry. Shit, shit, shit!'

'Well, then. What's up?'

Ron removed his hands from his face and took a deep breath.

'Harry, I'm already mortified beyond belief. Please, _please_ don't laugh at me when I tell you this.'

'Okay,' Harry said seriously.

'Well … like I said. I thought she was hurt. And when she was talking to me, she was so angry. We bickered a bit. I know I probably should've kept my mouth shut, but I just wanted her forgiveness so badly, you know?' Ron said.

'Of course,' Harry replied. 'Go on.'

'So, yeah. She told me to leave her alone and started crying. So I hugged her and said "never" and she told me to promise her I'd never leave her again.'

Harry cleared his throat, and Ron gestured for him to speak.

'She really was a mess when you were gone, you know. I wasn't lying when I told you that after you stabbed the locket,' Harry said.

'I know,' Ron said quietly.

'No, Ron, I don't think you do,' Harry insisted. 'It was almost like she was … broken? I don't know how to describe it.'

'Shit,' Ron cursed. 'I said it to her, and I'll say it again to you, Harry – I'll never forgive myself for leaving. Ever.'

'Fuck, Ron,' Harry said. 'I didn't tell you that to make you feel guilty again. I want you to forgive yourself. Hermione and I have.'

Ron sighed.

'I know, Harry, I know.'

'It was … different … you not being here,' Harry said awkwardly. 'You know we barely spoke? When you left, it was like I was alone. And I expect Hermione felt the same way.'

'Harry, please – '

'I need you to know this, Ron,' Harry said forcefully. 'I need you to know that your presence _is_ worth something.'

Ron felt his own eyes sting when he heard the tremor in Harry's voice. He listened as Harry cleared his throat.

'And I'll tell you something else,' Harry continued. 'Something I've thought for a long time.'

'What's that?' Ron asked curiously.

'Hermione loves you,' Harry said slowly.

'Well, obviously,' Ron said weakly. 'We're friends.'

'No, Ron, you're not listening to me,' Harry said. 'Hermione is in love with you.'

Ron scoffed.

'You're barking.' He wouldn't allow himself to hope it was true.

'Ron,' Harry said gently. 'Just talk to her about it.'

'No, Harry I can't. Especially not now. Not after what happened,' Ron said.

'Ron, I really think – '

'Leave it!' Ron shouted, his breathing heavy. He tightly shut his eyes in an effort to calm down.

How could he explain to Harry that he couldn't take it if weren't true? How could he make him understand it would kill Ron if telling her ruined their friendship? He'd lived without her once and wouldn't and _couldn't_ do it again.

'Okay,' Harry muttered quietly.

'Thanks,' Ron murmured.

'Ron?'

'Yeah?'

'What happened in the forest?'

'Fuck,' Ron said. 'I almost forgot about that.'

Harry chuckled.

'Well, I didn't.'

Ron smiled at him gratefully. He knew Harry was trying to ease the bit of tension still lingering between them.

'You promised you wouldn't laugh, wanker,' Ron joked.

'Too right you are,' Harry said. He adopted an expression that was entirely too serious. 'Go on.'

'Okay,' Ron breathed. 'I … I told her that I'd heard her and asked her if she was hurt.'

Harry gasped.

'You didn't?'

'I did!' Ron wailed. 'Merlin, Harry, I'm such an idiot! No wonder she was so embarrassed!'

'Oh, come on, Ron, it's not so bad,' Harry said comfortingly, as he patted Ron on the back.

'No, Harry,' Ron groaned. 'It gets worse.' He felt like he was going to drown in his mortification.

'Don't worry, Ron,' Harry said.

'I offered her my help, Harry. _Twice!_' Ron blurted out. He listened as Harry let out a deep breath, and Ron refused to look at his expression.

'Well … shit,' Harry said after a long silence.

'Yeah,' Ron muttered. '"Shit" is right.'

'It'll be okay, Ron,' Harry assured him. 'She doesn't know that you know. Just be normal around her.'

'But that's just it, Harry!' Ron cried. 'How can I be normal around her now? It's all I'll be able to think about when I look at her. If I thought I fantasised about her too much before, Merlin knows what my brain will come up with now!'

Harry sighed.

'I know, Ron. But you have to try, or you'll go mental.'

'I'm already mental,' Ron responded, and smiled when Harry chuckled. 'Truthfully, I'm still in fucking shock. I mean, Hermione!'

Harry laughed again.

'Oh, come on, Ron. We're all naturally sexually frustrated. God knows how long we'll be living out of this fucking tent.'

'Ugh, I don't even wanna think about how long we'll be here,' Ron said.

'Me neither,' Harry said as he stared at nothing in particular.

Ron remained silent as Harry sat and pondered. He forced himself to think of anything besides Hermione touching herself in ways Ron had dreamed about since third year – only he was the one doing the touching. This was going to be so much more difficult now that he knew for a fact she wanked. As he mulled over everything that had happened that day, something struck him.

'Harry?'

'Hmm?' Harry answered. He was still staring ahead.

Ron didn't know how to ask Harry his question because he was afraid of hearing the answer.

'How come you're so sure that she was ... wanking?' Ron asked, struggling with associating the word with Hermione.

'Oh,' Harry said. 'I may … have heard her do it, too.'

'_What_?' Ron screamed.

Harry scrambled away.

'Stay calm, Ron. I swear I only _heard_. I didn't see anything.'

'But … how … when … what the fuck?' Ron sputtered.

'When you were gone. Same scenario. She had wandered off and I got worried so I went to check on her. And I heard.'

'Fucking hell,' Ron said incredulously.

'You know,' Harry chuckled, 'if there was a way to do it without humiliating her, I'd remind her to cast a silencing charm.'

Ron groaned.

'Shut up, Harry. Don't make jokes.'

'Sorry, mate,' Harry said, even as his voice shook with laughter.

'Of course, of the two of us, I'd be the one to not recognise the sounds for what they were,' Ron said. 'How did you figure it out, Harry?'

'Oh,' Harry said uncomfortably. 'Maybe Hermione's logic rubbed off on me,' he said with a nervous chuckle.

Something was off about Harry and Ron couldn't place it. He stared at Harry as he contemplated his words and demeanour. Harry seemed almost … frightened? But of what? Ron? _Why on earth would he be scared of me?_ Ron thought. _We're best mates_. And then it finally clicked.

'Oh, bloody fucking hell. Harry, you didn't,' Ron said in disbelief.

Harry visibly trembled.

'Ron,' he began cautiously. 'Please ... just ... oh, god, you're gonna kill me.'

'You _slept_ with _Ginny_?' Ron yelled as he got to his feet, towering over Harry.

'Ron, you can't kill me! I'm The Chosen One! You kill me and all hope is lost!' Harry cried desperately.

Ron stopped in his movements and took in the sight before him of his friend, cowering in fear. In that moment, he decided on his reaction.

'What does it matter if I let you live? If you're The Chosen One, then we're all fucking doomed!'

The look of fear on Harry's face was instantly replaced with one of sadness and confusion.

'What?' he asked Ron dejectedly.

'I mean, really, Harry,' Ron said with as straight a face as he could manage. 'You're afraid of me. _Me_! How the hell can we expect you to stand up to the darkest wizard of all time?'

Harry narrowed his eyes.

'Are you taking the piss right now?'

And with that, Ron lost it. He collapsed next to Harry, gasping for breath as his entire body shook with his laughter.

'You prick,' Harry said through his own laughter.

'Your … face!' Ron gasped. 'I'll never forget it.'

'Shut it, Ron,' Harry retorted. 'You should've seen _your_ face. I'll never forget _that_.'

'I'm sorry,' Ron said as his laughter finally died down.

'Yeah, yeah,' Harry said, but he was grinning.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both lost in thought.

'I really love her, Ron. I need you to know that,' Harry suddenly said.

'I know you do,' Ron replied. 'So much so that I don't need to ask all the questions an older brother usually would.'

Harry gave him an appreciative smile.

'Thanks.'

Ron nodded in response. Truthfully, he had been ready to kill Harry. But he couldn't deny the fact that Harry truly did care about Ginny. It was obvious. If anything, Ron couldn't help but feel slightly envious that he was still a virgin and Harry was not.

Like any other seventeen year old, he wanted to experience sex, and he'd thought he'd have his chance when he dated Lavender. But as it turned out, Lavender had been an absolute cocktease who constantly insisted they keep their clothes on while she shamelessly gyrated her hips against his own.

In retrospect, Ron was incredibly relieved he hadn't had sex with her. It horrified him to think how much more clingy she would have become with the knowledge that they'd lost their virginity to each other.

Of course, there was also the fact that Ron would have liked to lose it to someone he was actually in love with and who loved him in return. His thoughts immediately strayed to Hermione. When Ron thought about how much he loved her, he couldn't help but feel that it was _right_. And it pained him to know that she didn't feel it too.

Harry had lost his virginity to someone he truly cared about, and everyone knew how much Ginny loved Harry – how much she had always loved him. It made Ron that much more envious. There was a slim chance he'd get to experience the same thing because Ron knew he'd never love anyone the way he loved Hermione.

Feeling thoroughly depressed, Ron decided to try and get some sleep, dismissing his earlier decision to keep watch.

'I'm turning in,' he said to Harry, and made to stand when Harry stopped him.

'Ron, wait. I wanna talk to you about something,' Harry said earnestly.

Ron gave him a wary glance.

'Okay.'

'Look, I know you probably don't wanna hear this, but being with your sister has been possibly the best experience of my life,' Harry said.

'Mate, please – '

'No, Ron, listen,' Harry said forcefully. 'I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I told her I loved her. I needed to tell her before it was too late.'

'What do you mean?' Ron asked weakly, even though he knew very well what Harry was trying to say.

'We could all be dead tomorrow,' Harry said.

'Harry – '

'Don't you want her to know, Ron? Don't you want to know what it feels like to be with the person you love more than anything else in the entire world?'

'Fuck, Harry!' Ron yelled. 'She'd never want me, okay? What'd be the point of putting myself through that?'

'Trust me, Ron. Hermione cares about you a lot more than you think. Tell her,' Harry demanded.

Ron clenched his teeth as he tried to rein in his fury.

'Drop it, Harry.'

'No,' Harry taunted. 'Tell her. You _need_ to.'

'I don't _need_ to do anything,' Ron snapped.

'My god, Ron! How can I get through to you?' Harry cried. 'What _if_ something had happened to her while you were gone? What if something happens to her tomorrow? Or the day after? Next week? Next month!'

Ron childishly placed his hands over his ears.

'Harry, please,' he begged.

'Fine, let me put it to you this way – if something had happened to you, Hermione would be lost,' Harry said. 'Ron, trust me. She'd die if something happened to you.'

Ron sucked in a breath as his whole body shook. Could there be some truth to Harry's words?

'Tell her,' Harry gently repeated.

Ron's mouth had gone dry.

'I don't know, Harry,' he muttered.

'Do it,' Harry said. 'Just do it.'

In his mind's eye, Ron saw himself telling Hermione he not only fancied her, but that he was in love with her. And try as he might, the only reaction he could envision from her was one he hoped he'd never have to see again. But the image the locket had presented to him was burned into his brain, raw and agonising. Over and over, he heard her saying Harry was better. Better than him as a son, friend, and boyfriend. Better than everything.

Ron almost gagged when he remembered what the locket had shown him next – Hermione and Harry twisted into a fierce embrace as they kissed. It wasn't real, but that didn't stop it from making Ron feel sick. The locket had hit on every one of Ron's crushing insecurities and remembering it gave Ron a heavy sense of despair.

Harry was wrong. Hermione didn't love him.

'I can't,' Ron croaked.

'That's it,' Harry said angrily. ' I really hoped I wouldn't have to resort to this, but fuck it.'

'Huh?' Ron asked.

'Ron,' Harry said. 'If you don't tell Hermione how you feel, I swear to fucking Merlin, I'll tell her you caught her wanking in the forest.'

Ron's eyes widened as he gasped aloud.

'You wouldn't!'

'Oh, yes, I would!' Harry said. 'Enough is enough! You two have been stubbornly dancing around each other for years, and quite frankly, it's getting annoying.'

'Harry, _please_ don't make me do this,' Ron begged.

'Mate, come on,' Harry said gently. 'I wouldn't do this if I wasn't absolutely certain she felt the same way. I just want to see my best friends happy. Especially when the world as we know it could end tomorrow.'

'But that's just it,' Ron protested. He chose to ignore the last part of Harry's statement. 'How can you be so sure she fancies me?'

'Not _fancies_, Ron. _Loves_,' Harry corrected.

'Fine, whatever,' Ron muttered.

'Christ, Ron! Look at the facts!' Harry said. 'In fourth year after the Yule Ball. She _told_ you not to treat her as a last resort. If you had asked her nicely, she would have said yes to you.'

'You can't know that,' Ron argued desperately.

'Fine, then! In sixth year, _she_ asked _you_ to Slughorn's party! And when you were off snogging Lavender for months, she was heartbroken,' Harry said. 'That first night Lavender kissed you, need I remind you I found Hermione sobbing in an empty classroom?'

'Please stop,' Ron whispered.

'No fucking way!' Harry snapped. 'When Dumbledore died,' and here Harry's voice cracked, 'did she not find comfort in _your_ arms at the funeral?'

Ron merely nodded in response, too overwhelmed with emotion to properly speak.

'Do you remember,' Harry continued, 'how pleased she was when you asked her to dance at Bill's wedding? How worried she was when you splinched yourself after the Ministry?' Harry stopped abruptly and took a deep breath.

Ron gave him a quizzical look.

'Harry?'

'But you didn't see the worst of it,' Harry said quietly. 'She … barely ate. Barely slept. In the mornings, she would try to cover the fact that she'd been crying all night. She'd spend whole days with a book in her hands only to stare at nothing.' Harry sighed. 'It was like … like she was half-alive.'

Ron sucked in a breath. Harry had told him over and over again Hermione had been in a bad state while he was gone, but he hadn't truly understood the severity.

'If you're so certain she loves me, then why hasn't she said anything?' Ron asked, knowing very well he was grasping at straws.

'Birds love for a bloke to make the first move,' Harry said wisely.

Ron snorted and raised an eyebrow.

'Didn't Gin make the first move on you?'

Harry chuckled.

'Yeah. But Ginny's not like other girls.'

Ron frowned.

'Well, Hermione's not like other girls, either.'

'Easy, Ron,' Harry said. 'I only meant that growing up with six older brothers made Ginny tougher than most girls. She's the kind of girl who _would_ take the first step to get what she wants.'

'That's true,' Ron agreed with a hint of pride in his voice.

'So when will you tell her?' Harry asked.

'Harry, we've only just become friends again,' Ron argued. 'What if my telling her ruins everything?'

'It won't,' Harry said. 'I promise.'

Ron sighed in frustration. He'd never been good with words. How the hell was he supposed to express to Hermione how much she meant to him?

Taking into consideration that Harry, his best mate, had promised him all would work in his favour, Ron made his decision.

'Okay,' Ron whispered. His stomach churned.

'Fuck. _Finally_,' Harry said exasperatedly. 'I'll give you two weeks.'

'What?' Ron gasped. 'Harry, no! It's too soon!'

'Seven years is too soon?' Harry asked incredulously.

'Merlin, Harry, don't do this to me!' Ron cried. 'It's too bloody hard. What am I supposed to say to her? "Hello, Hermione. How are you this fine evening? Good? Splendid. By the way, I'm in love with you."' He scowled at Harry as he watched the prat chuckle.

'Start small,' Harry suggested. 'Tell her you fancy her. Everything else can happen naturally.'

Ron considered Harry's suggestion. That wouldn't be so bad, would it? If Hermione rejected him, he'd at least be able to maintain some of his dignity.

'Can you at least give me a month?' Ron asked.

'Hell no. Time is something we can no longer count on,' Harry said gravely.

'You'd really tell her I heard her in the forest if I don't do this?'

'Absolutely,' Harry said with a wide grin.

Ron closed his eyes and breathed deeply. _You can do this, Ron. Harry is your best mate. He wouldn't do this to you without good reason_.

'Okay,' Ron said again. He swallowed hard. 'Two weeks.'

'Brilliant!' Harry exclaimed.

'Says you,' Ron muttered.

'Cheer up, Ron! You won't regret this,' Harry said. 'And on that note, you can turn in now.'

Ron stared at him in shock.

'Are you mental? How the fuck am I supposed to sleep now?'

Harry chuckled.

'True. Sorry. Mind if I turn in then?'

'No,' Ron sighed. 'Go ahead.'

'Cheers.' Harry stretched and yawned. 'It'll be okay, mate. You'll see.'

'If you're wrong, Harry, I'll kill you,' Ron joked half-heartedly.

'Well,' Harry said as he stood up, 'it's a risk I'm willing to take. Goodnight.'

Ron watched as Harry waved his wand, effectively removing his Muffliato, and disappeared into the tent. Sighing heavily, he wrapped his arms around his legs and placed his head on his knees, preparing himself for a long night of thinking.

Harry was willing to take the risk. Ron would have to be, as well.


	5. When A Dream Becomes Reality

**Author's Note:** So I took longer than expected to put this up. I apologise for that. A 12 year old injury came back to say hello and wouldn't leave, so I've been in and out of physiotherapy for the past couple of weeks. Anyway, enough about me. As always, a massive thank you to everyone who's reviewed or added this story, as well as myself as an author, to your alerts and favourites. The appreciation I have for all of you is eternal. This chapter is most likely not what everyone will have expected, but rest assured - there _is_ a method to my madness.

I'd like to take a moment to make a special mention and give extra special thanks to **ykickamoocow111** for providing me with wonderful insight and fantastic ideas when it comes to writing a true representation of Ron and Hermione.

Lastly, I hope you'll all enjoy this, regardless of what you've expected.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. And I forgot to mention that in the last chapter as well.

Hermione's whole body shook with anticipation as Ron hovered above her. He gazed at her reverently, and Hermione could hardly believe that she finally, _finally_, was exactly where she'd wanted to be for so long.

She stared back, unable to keep her eyes off of him. His skin, so pale and littered with freckles, found her wondering how it felt and whether it tasted as sweet as it looked. Tentatively, she brought a hand up to his cheek. As she marvelled at how soft he felt, his eyes closed and a serene look was on his face.

She moved her hand and her gaze to his lips, desperate to touch, taste, and feel. His eyes flew open when her fingers made contact with his mouth and the look in them caused an almost painful throbbing in her core.

His eyes had always been one of her favourite parts about him. Whenever he looked at her, her heart would beat a little faster. But now, this look made her feel so incredibly wanted, and she thought her heart would beat out of her chest.

If he didn't touch her soon, she was going to go mad. In desperation, she moaned lightly and squirmed underneath him. Ron groaned loudly and grabbed her wrists. He pinned them down above her head and pressed his whole body into her, stilling her movements. She could feel his body heat scorching her skin through their clothing and she whimpered. He looked down at her, breathing heavily through his dry lips. He kept his eyes locked on her as he moved his tongue over his mouth, moistening it, and Hermione thought she would explode if he didn't, at the very least, kiss her.

'Please,' she begged as she trembled beneath him.

With a strangled moan, Ron lowered his lips to hers.

Hermione closed her eyes in anticipation and waited.

And waited. And waited some more.

Confused, she opened her eyes. And when she realised that she'd just awoken from a dream, her eyes filled with tears.

It had only been a few hours since her talk with Ron in the forest, and already the dreams had returned.

She sucked in a breath and willed herself not to cry but it was no use. She really didn't know how she was going to survive being so close to Ron without being able to touch him the way she wanted to.

_Get up, Hermione_, she silently scolded herself. _It's your turn to relieve Harry of his watch. Get up!_

Sighing heavily, she climbed out of bed. She pulled a towel and a fresh change of clothes out from her beaded bag and made her way to the bathroom. A hot shower would calm her nerves.

Once inside the loo, she stared at herself in the small mirror she had magically placed on one of the walls. She looked an absolute mess. Her hair was bigger than usual, and her crying had given her red, swollen eyes and blotchy skin. In short, she looked as miserable as she felt.

Turning away from the mirror in disgust, she undressed herself and got into the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could bear. She let the water spray directly on to her back, soothing the tension rooted deep within her muscles.

The ache was back, the latest dream about Ron making it seem worse than ever. It had felt so real! Why on earth did she have to wake up at that moment? Why couldn't she find respite even in her dreams? She'd go mad soon if she didn't gain some control over her feelings for Ron.

But how could she? He was everything to her. _Everything_. And she knew that the love she felt for him was infinite.

Was she attracted to him? Absolutely. His red hair, so vibrant and unique and reflective of his personality, had her wishing she could run her hands through it. His intensely blue eyes with their piercing gaze sent a shock straight to her chest. His tall and lanky body towered over her, always giving her a sense of protection. His pale skin, covered in what seemed to be an endless amount of freckles, gave him an eternally boyish complexion. And that was only the physical part.

His bravery had always impressed her. From the moment Ron and Harry had become friends, Ron had remained by Harry's side. _Except for when he left_, she reminded herself. She shook her head to clear it. It was obvious how much Ron regretted leaving. She'd told him she'd forgiven him and she intended on sticking to that.

She knew his leaving had something to do with the locket. And whatever that "something" was, it had evidently tortured Ron much worse than it did herself and Harry. The night he'd returned, he and Harry had been very vague about what exactly transpired when Ron stabbed the horcrux.

Hermione truly felt as if they were keeping something vital from her, and as curious as she was, a feeling deep within her told her not to ask Ron. She knew better than to ask Harry, as well. There were some things that were discussed only between the two of them and would remain that way because of their loyalty to one another as best mates.

That in itself was another admirable aspect of Ron's personality. The amount of times he'd stuck up for herself, Harry, and his family seemed endless. And all of this stemmed from one very simple truth: That Ron, regardless of his faults, had a tremendous amount of love for the people that mattered most to him.

Having finished with her shower, Hermione got out and wrapped her towel around herself. She sighed as she caught a glimpse of her body. This mission and all its stresses, as well as a lack of food, had caused her to lose quite a bit of weight. She sincerely hoped they could complete their task before she became painfully thin and lost the few curves she did have.

_Stop it!_ she silently scolded herself. She, of course, wanted to be physically desired by Ron. She remembered the way he'd stared at her chest in the forest the night before and felt a shiver go through her. But it wasn't enough. It was possible that Ron desired multiple girls. And even though she didn't, Hermione could physically desire other boys. But she didn't want to. What she wanted was for Ron to look at her with love _and_ lust. However, she had no doubt in her mind that if she offered herself to Ron, he'd turn her down for the sake of their friendship. He was just that noble.

As she began to brush her teeth, an overwhelming sadness washed over her. She'd only ever be a friend to Ron - one of his mates. But for how long would she be able to stand it? If they survived the war, life would eventually go on. It pained her to think about Ron meeting and falling in love with someone else, while she watched from the sidelines, forever playing the role of the best friend. And if he married someone else? Had children with someone else? She gagged at that last thought, and pulled her toothbrush out of her mouth. It was disturbing how much hatred she felt for a woman she didn't even know.

She had to stop torturing herself and worry about the present. Dumbledore had trusted the three of them to complete this mission, and she'd do everything in her power to make sure it was successfully completed.

She rinsed her mouth and dressed herself, drying her hair with a quick spell. Once out of the bathroom, she made her way over to the kettle and began to make tea for herself and Harry. Helping Harry was what mattered now. The destruction of the Horcruxes was crucial to the eternal annihilation of Voldemort. There was no time to focus on trivial things like lust, love, red hair, blue eyes, full lips, large hands ... _Enough, Hermione!_

She grabbed two mugs and filled them with tea. Before she walked out of the tent, she turned and glanced longingly at the figure huddled under the covers of a camp bed. Hermione was so distracted, she failed to realise that the figure was too short to be Ron and was sleeping in the wrong bed.

Abruptly, she turned, grabbed the filled mugs, and walked outside. The sight that met her was not what she expected and she almost dropped the tea.

Instead of Harry, Ron sat on the ground, hugging his knees to his chest, seemingly staring at nothing. He looked so dazed and lost in thought that Hermione considered heading back in so as not to interrupt him. It was at that moment that he looked at her.

There was that stare again. She felt her whole body flush under his scrutinous gaze, yet found it difficult to turn away. It wouldn't have mattered if she did, however, as Ron then moved his eyes away from hers only to rake them over her entire body. His expression went blank and he licked his lips. Hermione immediately felt a jolt between her legs and gasped out loud. The sound made Ron look up at her face, and she watched, puzzled, as his entire face went red.

'Good morning,' he said. His voice was hoarse as if he hadn't spoken in days.

'Morning,' she answered. She cleared her throat and desperately wished away the dampness in her knickers.

'One of those for me?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Oh, well, actually, you see, one of them is for Harry,' she said without thinking. A pang hit her in the chest and she regretted her wording when Ron's face fell.

'Oh,' was all he said.

'No,' she said quickly. 'That's not what I meant!'

'It's okay, Hermione,' said Ron quietly.

'No, listen,' she pleaded. She didn't know why but she had a feeling that whatever was happening at that very moment was important. She had to explain herself properly and it was vital that she make him understand. She would try and figure out later the reason she felt this way.

'I only meant that I expected to see Harry out here because I was under the impression that he was still keeping watch,' she hastily explained. 'I'm afraid that you won't find this tea as sweet as you usually take it.'

'The way I usually take it?' he asked.

'Well, yes,' she replied. 'You take two sugars. Three if you feel the tea was made too strongly.'

And there was that stare again. It seemed like he was searching for something. Something that only she possessed, and if he stared long enough it would turn up.

'I see,' he said finally. 'What else do you know about me?

There was something strange in his tone that Hermione couldn't place. She made her way over to him and sat down.

'I know that one sugar is entirely too little for you,' she quipped as she handed him the mug originally intended for Harry.

'Cheers,' said Ron with a grin.

Hermione smiled in response and watched as Ron took the first sip and grimaced.

'That bad?' she laughed.

'Awful,' he responded. 'Entirely too bitter for my taste.'

'Honestly, Ron,' she said as she rolled her eyes. 'Just drink the damn thing.'

His eyes lit up in delight at her curse.

'Done it again, have I?' he asked.

'Only you, Ron,' she replied. 'Only you.'

Silence.

She turned her head to look at him and sucked in her breath when she saw his expression. There was that _look _again. Desperate to figure out its meaning, Hermione stared back, refusing to back down.

Seconds that felt like hours ticked by as they remained locked in each other's gaze. Hermione's body tingled with nerves and her breath hitched as Ron swallowed. He licked his lips again and before she could stop herself, Hermione let out a small whimper. Ron's eyes widened and he groaned. The sound made her nipples tighten and she squirmed, but couldn't look away. Something big was happening and she wanted and needed to see it through to the end.

'Really?' he asked quietly.

He spoke so suddenly that Hermione slightly jumped. She was worried for a moment that the spell they'd been under had broken and was relieved to find that he still hadn't turned away from her.

'What?' she breathed. Truthfully, she had no idea what he was asking her.

Ron took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'Am I ... ' he hesitantly began. 'Am I the only one?'

Hermione gasped lightly. What exactly was he asking her? There was more to this question. There _had_ to be.

She couldn't say 'no.' And 'maybe' was too ambiguous. She wasn't sure what he meant, but Hermione felt that this was a pivotal moment, one in which she needed to be completely honest. And for once, that meant Hermione would think with her heart and not with her head. She was tired of being logical.

'Yes,' she said and waited breathlessly for what he would do or say next. Without breaking eye contact, he placed his mug on the floor and moved closer to her. Her heart hammered wildly as she mimicked his actions.

'Hermione,' he whispered brokenly.

'Yes,' she said again, her voice quivering.

He opened his mouth to speak and immediately closed it. He shut his eyes tightly and Hermione felt a crushing sadness deep within her. A stifled sob escaped her and she began to move away when Ron's hand wrapped around her wrist.

'No,' he said desperately. 'Stay.'

'Why?' she sadly asked.

She was so stupid. She had hoped that Ron would say something, or at the very least, do something. How was it possible that she was the only one who felt anything between them? Why couldn't Ron see her the way she saw him?

She had promised herself that she'd be able to handle being close to him again without letting her feelings for him get in the way, but it was too difficult. She needed more time.

'Ron - ' she began, but her words were cut off when Ron gently placed his lips against hers.

For a moment she was too shocked to move. When it finally dawned on her that Ron was kissing her, he'd already started to move away.

'No, stay,' she gasped, repeating his earlier words.

And when he complied, Hermione felt warmth flood her entire body. His lips moved over hers slowly and she marvelled at how soft they were. Tentatively, she put her hands on his shoulders, then slowly moved them to the back of his neck. To her delight, Ron pulled her closer and slid his tongue over her lips. She sighed into him, and when her mouth opened, Ron groaned. This kiss began slowly, their tongues lazily moving around together. The pace maddened, yet enticed her. Her whole body ached for Ron and she pushed herself closer to him as her fingers grabbed roughly at his hair. Ron pulled away from her and groaned loudly.

'Sorry,' she said. Her cheeks flushed and she began to disentangle herself from his arms.

'No,' he said again desperately, latching onto her.

Hermione stared at him in confusion.

'Please,' he begged, 'don't tell me you're sorry. Tell me _anything_ but that.'

'What do you want me to say?' she asked breathlessly and watched patiently as he obviously struggled with his response.

'Tell me ... ' he began. He paused for a moment to take a deep breath. A look of fierce determination crossed his features. 'Tell me I can do it again. Whenever I want.'

'Ron - '

'More importantly, tell me that you want me to,' he said. And then stared at her expectantly.

'I ... ' she swallowed. 'I ... Ron, I _want_ you to,' she whispered.

A sound that Hermione could only describe as growl emitted from deep within him. He roughly pulled her to him and crushed his mouth against hers. Hermione responded with equal enthusiasm, pushing her tongue past his lips. She whimpered when he easily gave in.

Unlike the previous kiss, this one was raw and filled with desire. She had never kissed anyone like this before and she felt heady with her lust. This was Ron, _her_ Ron, kissing her the way she'd dreamed about for years. It was better than any fantasy her mind had been able to conjure, but she should have known he'd be good at it considering the fact that she had to watch him do it for so many months last year with Lavender.

Abruptly, she felt her stomach drop. This was the same reaction he'd had with _Lavender_. Without thinking, she broke the kiss and pushed him away.

'Stop!' she cried.

Ron stared at her incredulously as she tried to catch her breath.

'Why?' he asked, completely dumbfounded.

'Just stop for a moment,' she said weakly.

'Okay,' he said, and dropped his arms from her waist. Hermione had no recollection of when and how they got there.

Awkwardly, they sat in silence, looking everywhere except each other, when Ron suddenly cleared his throat.

'I'm sorry,' he said ruefully. 'I thought you wanted ... ' his voice trailed off.

Hermione remained silent. How could she have been so stupid? Ron was a seventeen year old _male_. And if _she_ was experiencing urges of a sexual nature, then there was no telling what Ron was feeling and thinking. If this was only about lust, then she couldn't and wouldn't give in. She refused to be another 'Lavender.' She loved Ron far too much for that.

He suddenly stood up and Hermione looked up at him, but he avoided her gaze.

'I'm gonna go try and sleep,' he said quietly and Hermione could swear his voice quivered. He started to move and she panicked.

'I don't want to be another Lavender!' she blurted out.

Ron stilled in his movements and looked down at her, complete shock stretched across his face.

'What?' he gasped.

Hermione felt her eyes well up, and hid her face in her hands. Her body burned with utter mortification. What the hell was wrong with her? Why hadn't she kept her mouth shut? And why did she kiss him back? Hermione wanted all or nothing with Ron. He didn't have to confess his undying love for her right then and there, but she'd feel better with the knowledge that he truly cared about her as more than a friend and wasn't just using her for physical gratification.

'Hermione, look at me.'

'No,' she sniffled with her head still in her hands. 'Go away, Ron.'

There was a gentle pressure applied to her wrists as Ron pulled her hands away from her face, but she refused to lift her head. Ron was on his knees before her.

'Didn't I tell you,' he said gently, 'that I'd never leave you again? I may have told you that there's not one thing I wouldn't do for you. But leaving you alone is not one of them.' He sighed. 'It's my own fault for not being clearer.'

Hermione felt her chest ache at his words and tried pathetically to hide the tears that were now falling freely down her face. She wanted to wipe them away but her hands were still trapped in Ron's grasp.

'Ron, please let go of me,' she pleaded.

Her heart broke a little more when he removed one of his hands from hers, but her heartache was quickly replaced with surprise when he only used it to gently wipe away her tears.

'Hermione, listen to me,' he said clearly. 'You are _not_ just another "Lavender" to me. You never have _been_ and you never will _be_.'

Slowly, the implications of his words settled in and Hermione's heart beat rapidly in her chest. But what if she was wrong?

'What do you mean?' she warily asked, and looked up at him. He was staring at her earnestly and he smiled lightly when she lifted her head.

'Merlin, Hermione,' he said nervously. 'Considering you're the most brilliant witch of our age, it's surprising to me you haven't figured it out.'

'Figured what out?' she asked as her brow furrowed in confusion. To her amazement, Ron blushed horribly and bit his lip.

'Well, ah ... ' he stuttered. 'I'm kinda ... um ... you see, the thing is ... ' he cleared his throat. 'I'm completely mental about you.' He said the last part so quickly that Hermione was sure she'd heard him incorrectly.

'Excuse me?' she said.

Ron sighed and looked away from her.

'Fuck, you're really gonna make me do that again? Do you know how hard it was the first time?' he asked.

'I don't know if I heard you correctly. I just need to make sure,' she said hopefully.

Ron met her gaze again.

'What is it you reckon you heard?'

Hermione closed her eyes and summoned all of her Gryffindor courage. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

'I thought I heard you say that you were completely mental about me,' she said.

Ron looked at her nervously again.

'And is that ... is that what you wanted to hear?'

Hermione had to rein in her frustration. She wanted real answers from him. She swore he was going to be the death of her. But she knew that there was only one way she'd find out what she needed to know. Stifling her resolve, she spoke.

'Yes.'

His face split into a wide grin.

'Really?'

'Yes,' she repeated.

'Does this mean you're completely mental over me, too?'

He sounded so hopeful, and the realisation that _Ron_, the man she literally ached for, fancied her made Hermione feel lightheaded.

'Yes,' she said again, completely dazed. She kept expecting to wake up. Inconspicuously, she pinched her thigh. Pain had never felt so good.

'How long?' Ron suddenly said, and Hermione knew instantly what he was asking her.

'I suppose since second year,' she replied. 'Maybe subconsciously before that. But it's when I became aware that I saw you differently than Harry. I wasn't sure though, until third year, exactly what that difference was.'

'Wow,' Ron said. 'Why second year?'

'You defended me against Malfoy,' she said softly, her heart warming at the memory.

'I failed miserably at that,' Ron said as his face reddened.

'That doesn't matter, Ron,' she said as she pulled him down to sit across from her. 'I'd known, at that point since first year, that you would always defend the people you care about when you took on the position of a knight in that awful chess game and bravely sacrificed yourself so that Harry and I could continue on.' She paused for a moment, wondering if she should finish her thought and Hermione decided she wanted him to know. 'But when you defended me against Malfoy, that's when you became _my_ personal knight.'

With a strangled moan, Ron pulled her to him and kissed her again. It was so much better this time because she knew with certainty that he cared about her too. She wasn't sure if he loved her the way she loved him, but seeing as they'd just confessed their feelings to one another, she'd have to take things one step at a time.

Overcome with a need to be closer to him, Hermione climbed onto Ron's lap and wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself against his chest. Innocently, she moved against him and gasped when she felt Ron's hard length rub right against her centre. Ron pulled away from her lips to groan loudly, and then let loose an utterly foul collection of curse words. The force of his reaction went straight to her core, and she could feel the dampness pool in her knickers. Feeling powerful with the knowledge that she had this effect on Ron, Hermione purposely rubbed herself against him again.

'Damn it, Hermione,' he said through gritted teeth, and placed his hands on her hips to stop her from moving.

'But it feels so good,' she whined.

Ron looked up at her in shock.

'What?' she huffed. 'Is it so inconceivable that I'd enjoy something like this with you?'

Something she couldn't place lit up Ron's eyes and he looked so incredibly boyish in his happiness that Hermione was instantly reminded of him as an eleven year old. His contentment was contagious and Hermione couldn't help but grin back at him.

'You're absolutely adorable,' she said and watched in amusement as Ron blushed.

'And gorgeous,' she added, laughing lightly at his expression of disbelief.

'So incredibly sexy,' she whispered.

Ron made a face at her.

'You don't mean that,' he said.

'Yes, I do,' she protested.

'Why me?' he suddenly asked.

'I'm sorry?' she said.

Ron sighed heavily before he spoke.

'Why me, Hermione?' he asked again. 'You're the smartest witch of our age. You're the one who's adorable, gorgeous, and sexy.' He paused and Hermione flushed in delight.

'I reckon you could have any bloke. Someone better than me,' he said seriously.

Hermione's mouth fell open.

'Ron!' she admonished.

'Honestly, Hermione. A better friend, someone who'd buy you nice things just because he could.' Again he stopped but Hermione had a feeling he wasn't finished.

'Someone better looking,' he continued. 'Someone brave and loyal. Someone like H-' He stopped again and his head dropped in frustration.

Hermione wanted so badly to tell him how much she loved him but she worried that it was too soon. Knowing Ron, it would only scare him and push him away.

'Someone like who?' she asked.

Disappointment spread through his features as he looked up at her again.

'Someone like Harry.'

Hermione was at a loss for words. Did Ron really think she wanted Harry? Is that why he hadn't told her how he felt sooner?

'Ron, that's ... that's ... ' she struggled to find the right word. 'Disgusting,' she finally said.

'What?' he asked.

'Disgusting, Ron. Insane. Ridiculous. Grotesque. Preposterous. Vomit-inducing! Practically incestuous!' she cried.

'Really?' His tone was laced with disbelief.

'Of course! I've always seen Harry as a brother. To think of him any other way is just ... it's mental!'

'You mean that?' There was so much hope in his voice.

'Yes, you idiot!' she cried.

He buried his face in her neck and laughed in relief.

'Good,' he whispered against her skin.

Hermione shivered against him and held him tightly.

'There's no one better than you, Ron,' she said.

In response, he kissed her again.

'Wait,' she said as she pulled away.

That look was back and Hermione couldn't help but moan as she finally recognised it for what it was. He cared for her _and_ he wanted her. The hunger in his eyes caused her body to heat up in desire.

'I want ... ' she gasped ' ... to know when you realised it.'

He brushed his thumb lightly over her lips and Hermione was tempted to suck on it. Thankfully, he moved his whole hand to cup her cheek.

'Second year, as well,' he responded.

'No,' she said in disbelief.

'Yes,' Ron chuckled.

'That long?'

'Yes,' he repeated. 'When you were petrified. I thank Merlin everyday that you were brilliant enough to carry a mirror.' His hand moved close to her heart. 'It makes me sick to think about what would've happened if you hadn't,' he said softly.

'Oh, Ron,' she breathed. She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. He hugged her tightly and even though he hadn't said it, she could feel his love for her. She was again overcome with the need to tell him she was in love with him, but again remained silent.

'I've never felt this way before,' Ron murmured.

'Me neither,' she confessed.

His lips found hers again and Hermione gave in wholeheartedly, deciding that enough had been said for one night. She wanted to lose herself in Ron. He shifted beneath her and Hermione looked down to see what he was doing. Hesitantly, he began to push her onto her back, his eyes silently asking her for permission. Slightly, she nodded and Ron gently lay her down, his body following her. This was so much like her dreams that she couldn't help but tremble in his arms.

'Are you cold?' he asked.

'Quite the opposite,' she replied with a smirk, and Ron's face lit up in realisation.

'I see,' he said huskily.

Slowly, he lowered his lips to her neck and kissed her softly. No one had ever touched her there before and the sensation caused her to whimper and shake underneath him. Seemingly encouraged by her response, Ron began to lightly suck on her pulse point. Hermione hissed loudly and pressed his face closer to her neck. The pressure of his lips increased and Hermione moaned loudly as the feeling sent a shock right between her legs. She highly doubted she'd ever been so incredibly turned on.

His tongue trailed from her neck to her ear, tracing it while he breathed heavily. She gasped and unthinkingly wrapped her legs around him. Ron broke away from her ear and swore through gritted teeth as he pressed his erection against her.

'Oh, god,' she panted.

'Okay?' he asked, even as he continued to push into her gently.

'Don't stop,' she said as she threw her head back in ecstasy.

'I never will,' he panted. Breathing heavily, he groaned and pushed harder against her.

Hermione's back arched as her hips bucked against him. The air was filled with the sounds of their pants, whimpers, and groans. She felt Ron's hand tug at the zip on her hooded jumper and she shivered in anticipation. When he realised she wouldn't, _couldn't_ stop him, he quickly pulled the zip down and pushed the material away to reveal the thin shirt she wore underneath. Her chest heaved as Ron stared at her breasts and licked his lips. She moved under him, trying to apply friction to her clit. Ron broke out of his trance and grunted in pleasure. He grabbed her wrists and gently pushed them down onto the ground, simultaneously putting his weight on her lower half so she was deliciously trapped beneath him.

Abruptly, his tongue pushed past her lips into her eager mouth, and Ron forgot to still her movements. She tightened her legs around his waist and shamelessly rubbed up against him. He tore away from her mouth and she started to protest when his lips unexpectedly wrapped around her hardened nipple, visible even through the fabric of her shirt and bra. She cried out and pushed herself up against him. He sucked harder and she writhed underneath him. His mouth moved to her other nipple, revealing a large wet spot on her shirt, and she moaned again as Ron's large, cool hand moved under her shirt, soothing her seated skin. Again and again he pushed while his lips moved over her breasts. He pulled away to gaze at her.

'Not ... gonna last ... much longer,' he grunted.

'M-me n-neither,' she stuttered.

At that moment, Ron came hard against her.

'Fuck ... Hermione,' he moaned. Her own orgasm shot through her as her name fell from his lips and she closed her eyes as they unexpectedly welled up with tears.

'Ron!' she cried, as she thrashed beneath him. He held her tightly as they attempted to catch their breath. When they finally calmed down, Ron pulled them both to a sitting position and grabbed his wand out of his back pocket.

'You do it,' he said weakly as he held his wand out to her. 'I can't concentrate.'

'And I can?' Hermione asked.

Ron grinned at her.

'Regardless, you'd still do a better job than me.'

Sighing, Hermione grabbed his wand and quickly cast a cleaning spell on the both of them.

'Better?' she asked.

'Much,' he answered.

They stared at one another and the realisation of what had just transpired between them began to sink in. They blushed, but it wasn't awkward. Hermione was pleasantly surprised at how ... _natural_ it felt.

He reached out and brushed some hair out of her face. He was so incredibly gentle and Hermione marvelled at the sudden difference from what she'd felt from Ron only moments before. He zipped up her jumper, and moved her around so that she sat between his legs with her back resting against his chest. He pulled all of her hair to one side and placed a kiss on the back of her neck.

'Okay?' he asked.

She knew he was looking for reassurance that he hadn't crossed a line. That she wanted to participate in what they had just done as willingly as he did.

In her mind, she went over everything. Every kiss, every caress, every moan, every _word_. But one word stood out above the rest. _Ron_. She'd finally allowed herself to call out his name; and the fact that he'd heard and was still there, holding her tightly, compelled Hermione to answer the only way she knew how.

'Never better.'


	6. His Very Own Storyline

**Author's Note**: Well … it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry about that. But I think we all know by now that sometimes life gets in the way of letting us do the things we truly enjoy.

Anyway, a quick note about this chapter - if it seems repetitive and unnecessary, just know that it _is_ necessary. I really need to express what's going on in Ron's head to give readers an idea of the way his thoughts can go back and forth between what's the truth and what his insecurities are telling him.

Lastly, thanks for your reviews and the addition of this story, as well as myself as an author, to your alerts and favourites. It's so incredibly appreciated.

**Disclaimer**: not mine.

Ron squinted as the first rays of sunshine seeped through the gnarled branches of the trees surrounding him. Sighing heavily, he covered his eyes with his hands, trying very hard to stop thinking about the intense conversation he'd had with Harry a few hours prior.

Alone with his thoughts, he had lost the small bit of confidence Harry had given him in his adamant reassurance that Hermione was just as much in love with Ron as he was with Hermione.

If he'd spoken to Harry about this while the locket was still around, he would have most likely believed that Harry was lying to him. But the simple truth was that the locket was destroyed and Harry was his best friend. There was just no fucking way Harry would do something so cruel, especially if he'd known all along that Ron loved Hermione.

Ron moved his hands from his eyes, and wrapped them tightly around his knees, almost as if the tighter he held, the saner he'd remain. Harry had given him two weeks. Two sodding weeks to tell Hermione that he, at the very least, fancied her. How the bloody fuck was he supposed to accomplish this task? Yes, Harry had promised him that everything would work in Ron's favour; however, there was still a part of him, tiny as it now was, that couldn't fathom how or why Hermione would have any interest in him. Harry was so much better suited for her. He was the hero, and Ron the insignificant sidekick; and in every story Ron had been told as a child, it was the hero who got the girl. The sidekick had no storyline - at least, not one that included an incredible, brilliant, beautiful and perfect girl.

_But Harry loves Ginny_, Ron silently reminded himself. _Your sister is his girl._

And so the war in his mind continued. Over and over, in a continuous loop - _Harry wouldn't lie to you; Harry's your best mate; Harry's confident she loves you; there's no way she does; she can do better; you've suspected for years she wanted Harry; you're mental if you think you have a chance with her._

Ron shook his head to clear it, and groaned out loud when it didn't work.

_Maybe you need a different approach. _

Ron scowled in frustration. How the fuck else could he look at this? Harry's threat couldn't really be taken seriously. Could it? Nothing good could come from any of this.

_He fucking promised you, Ron! _

And it suddenly dawned on him that he really had no choice but to attempt to find something positive about Harry's threat.

_Right. The positive._

Well ... she obviously cared for him as a friend, and no one could ever convince him otherwise - not even himself. He'd seen for himself how badly affected she'd been when he'd stupidly dated Lavender. Fuck, he still had the scars on his hands to prove it. And if memory served him correctly, in fourth year she did, in fact, scream at him not to treat her as a last resort.

She had asked him to Slughorn's party. And while Ron assumed that she only meant as friends, the truth was that she had never actually specified. So that left the possibility that she had attempted to ask him out a on a proper date, which was more than he'd ever done, short of acting like a jealous prat whenever the name "Krum" was uttered. Ron could only imagine what would have happened between himself and Hermione if Ginny had just kept her fucking mouth shut about Hermione and sodding Krum sharing a snog.

He felt a horrible ache in his chest when he finally reached the most obvious indication that she could possibly be in love with him.

She had run after him. She had screamed his name, pleading for him to come back. She had sobbed – a lot. He fucking hated himself for putting her in a position that forced her to choose. Hermione was nothing if not loyal and Harry's cause was too big for her to also abandon him. Ron couldn't take it personally that she had opted to stay with Harry.

He would have to start paying closer attention to the way she reacted around him. He wondered if maybe a deep-rooted fear of rejection had subconsciously forced him to remain oblivious to her feelings where he was concerned.

Maybe there was a chance that her heart raced whenever she was around him. Perhaps she did dream about being his girlfriend. Maybe she wanted to kiss him, or touch him ... have him touch her.

He clenched his teeth, closed his eyes and balled his fists when he remembered Harry stating so confidently that Hermione had most definitely been ... _wanking_ in the forest. And if, if, Harry was right about Hermione fancying Ron, then there was a possibility that when Hermione touched herself, it was Ron she thought about.

'Fuck,' he moaned quietly.

It would make sense. Ron definitely thought of Hermione when he gave himself a wank, and had done so since third year. Actually, come to think of it, she was the only girl he thought about - even while he'd dated Lavender.

He had to stop thinking about this or he'd go mad. He opened his eyes, and hugged his knees to his chest. He stared at nothing in particular as he tried to clear his mind. No sooner had he begun to rest his chin on his knees when he was assaulted with the mouth-watering scent of vanilla. Hermione's scent. He internally groaned. The smell was strongest when she just finished having a shower.

Shower. Hermione. Wet. Naked. Lathering herself. Wet. So _incredibly, fucking _wet.

Miraculously, he remained expressionless. He told himself to remain calm and slowly turned his head to look at her.

She stood at the mouth of the tent with a mug in each hand staring at him apprehensively. She looked so fresh and beautiful and her scent was everywhere. He couldn't stop his eyes from slowly roving over her body. A body he wanted to desperately taste, touch and feel. He wondered if she'd taste as good as she smelled, and subconsciously licked his lips.

Hermione gasped and he looked up, immediately flushing red when he realised he'd been caught ogling her. He had to start acting normal.

'Good morning,' he said, his voice hoarse.

Hermione cleared her throat.

'Morning.'

Ron decided a bit of light-heartedness was needed to ease the tension and raised his brow at the mugs in her hand.

'One of those for me?' he quipped.

'Oh, well, actually, you see, one of them is for Harry,' she replied.

It surprised Ron how much that hurt him and his face fell.

'Oh.'

'No, that's not what I meant,' Hermione said frantically, but it did nothing to ease the pain in his chest.

'It's okay, Hermione,' he muttered.

'No, listen,' she said desperately. 'I only meant that I expected to see Harry out here because I was under the impression that he was still keeping watch. I'm afraid that you won't find this tea as sweet as you usually take it.'

Ron felt a little overwhelmed by her outburst and decided to keep things simple.

'The way I usually take it?' he asked.

'Well, yes,' she answered. 'You take two sugars. Three, if you feel the tea was made too strongly.'

Something about the fact that Hermione knew this seemingly useless fact about him made his heart beat madly. It was stupid, really. As stupid as the fact that he knew she took only one sugar in her tea because with dentists for parents, she was unaccustomed to sweets.

He openly stared at her, trying to find in her brown eyes if she was experiencing a bit of what he was feeling, but it was difficult to read her. He wanted to know more.

'I see,' he said. 'What else do you know about me?'

Instead of answering, she sat next to him and handed him Harry's mug. She smelled fucking delicious. Ron had to bite his lip to keep from moaning aloud.

'I know that one sugar is entirely too little for you,' she joked.

'Cheers,' Ron said with a grin. He took a sip and made a face.

'That bad?' she laughed.

'Awful;. Entirely too bitter for my taste.'

Hermione rolled her eyes.

'Honestly, Ron. Just drink the damn thing,' she said.

Ron felt giddy at hearing her swear again.

'Done it again, have I?' he quipped.

'Only you, Ron,' she replied. 'Only you.'

For a moment, Ron felt his heart stop. He turned to look at her. There was something about those words spoken from her lips that had Ron thinking that maybe this was the opportunity he was looking for to find out what he needed and wanted to know. Maybe Harry was right - in retrospect, two weeks was a bloody long time. He needed to know now.

Hermione stared back at him, her breath hitching. Ron swallowed and licked his lips, preparing himself to speak when Hermione whimpered. Ron's eyes widened and he groaned.

_Now. _He had to fucking know _now_ before he went completely mental.

'Really?' he said suddenly and quietly.

Hermione jumped slightly when he spoke, but he kept his gaze on her.

'What?' she asked.

There were many ways he could respond, the foremost in his thoughts being "never mind"; however, Harry's threat was hanging over his head, and Ron decided that it really made no difference whether he did this now or in two weeks.

'Am I ... ' he swallowed. 'Am I the only one?'

Hermione gasped lightly, yet Ron refused to back down. Everything that happened next depended on her answer. She would either make him or break him.

'Yes,' she said.

_Sweet merciful fuck._

Ron kept his eyes on hers as he placed his cup on the floor and scooted closer to her. His heart pounded hard in his chest as Hermione did the same. He couldn't believe what was happening. He had no inkling of what to do next.

'Hermione,' he whispered.

'Yes,' she repeated in a trembling voice.

His mouth opened, but unsure of what to say, he immediately closed it and shut his eyes. He couldn't lose his confidence now.

Ron was about to speak when he heard Hermione quietly begin to sob. His eyes snapped open and he panicked when she started to move away from him.

'No!' he cried as he gently grabbed her wrist. 'Stay,' he pleaded. He couldn't give up now. Not when he'd got so far.

'Why?' she asked.

Ron felt an ache at the obvious sadness in her voice. He forced himself to believe it was because she wanted the same things he did. He'd waited too long for this moment and he put all his hope into thinking she'd waited just as long. Enough was enough.

'Ron - ' Hermione began, but Ron had already moved in and it was too late to back down now.

As soon as his lips touched hers, a jolt of electricity shot through his entire body. It quickly faded, however, when he realised Hermione hadn't responded. Dejected, he began to pull away.

'No, stay,' she panted, and it didn't escape Ron that she was also begging him using his exact words from only moments earlier.

He leaned forward, unable to resist her now that he'd had a brief taste. He kissed her softly and slowly, careful not to move too fast. It was extremely difficult though. For years, he'd wanted this woman and now that he finally somewhat had her, all he wanted was to ravish her.

There was a tingling at the back of his neck. Briefly, he wondered what was causing it when he felt the unmistakable shape of Hermione's small hands. Her touch felt so good that he pulled her closer and licked her lips. Hermione sighed and something deep within him snapped. He groaned loudly, slipping his tongue into her mouth and moving it over her own. He wanted more - needed more, but he didn't want to scare her. She tasted like toothpaste, and sitting this close to her made Ron feel as if he were drowning in her scent. He was trying to work up the nerve to pull her closer when Hermione unexpectedly yanked on his hair and pushed her breasts up against his chest in a manner that could only be described as animalistic.

She wanted him. Apparently as badly as he wanted her. His cock hardened at the possibilities of what that could physically mean and even though he didn't want to stop kissing her, he desperately needed air to think clearly on what move he'd next make. He pulled away and the loss of her lips and tongue had him groaning in despair.

Ron had to suppress a moan when he focused his gaze on her. Her face, and what he could see of her neck, burned crimson. Her lips were moist, red, and swollen. Her brown eyes were clouded over with what Ron desperately hoped was lust. And her chest heaved as she tried to regain her breath. She bit her lip, and she was so incredibly fucking beautiful that Ron had to use every bit of his willpower not to declare his love, rip off her knickers, and fuck her senseless.

'Sorry,' she said as she began to loosen his hold on her.

'No!' Ron yelped as he kept his hold on her.

Sorry? She was ... _sorry? _That _had_ to be wrong. If she told him she regretted it, Ron didn't think he would be able to handle that. Especially when it had felt so ... _right. _Like for a moment, everything in his life was as it should be. She _had_ to have felt the same way.

'Please don't tell me you're sorry. Tell me anything but that,' he pleaded.

Hermione took a deep breath.

'What do you want me to say?'

_That you love me, _Ron thought. _So that I can finally tell you how much I fucking love you back._

'Tell me ... ' he started to verbalise his thought, but he worried that it may be too soon. After all, they had just shared their first kiss. The first of what he hoped was many. He needed them now.

'Tell me I can do it again. Whenever I want,' he finally said, but it wasn't enough. He needed to know that she wanted it too.

'Ron - '

'More importantly,' he stressed, 'tell me that you want me to.' And waited breathlessly for her answer.

'I ... I ... Ron, I want you to,' she whispered.

Ron couldn't stop the growl that escaped him as he kissed her hungrily and he was pleased when Hermione responded in kind. She wanted him. He'd heard the words, and they'd come out of her mouth. Not Harry's. Hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist, shoving his tongue deeper into her mouth. Fuck, he loved her so much and it fucking killed him to know that he had to wait to tell her.

Hermione suddenly ended the kiss, pushing Ron away from her.

'Stop!' she cried.

Ron stared at her in shock.

'Why?' he asked stupidly.

'Just stop for a moment.'

Ron removed his arms from her body.

'Okay.'

He felt sick. He had gone too far and she resented him for it. And to think he had almost told her he loved her. He thought he'd understood correctly that she had wanted him to continue kissing her. But as usual, Ron had fucked everything up. And there was only one way to fix it.

'I'm sorry. I thought you wanted ... ' A huge lump had lodged itself in his throat and he couldn't finish.

He'd been wrong. Harry had been wrong. Ron had misunderstood. He almost wished he hadn't kissed her because now that he knew what it felt like to have her lips pressed against his own, he didn't know how he was supposed to live without that feeling ever again. The thought was incredibly painful and not wanting to cry in front of her, he quickly got up and made to leave.

'I'm gonna go try and sleep,' he murmured as he started to walk away.

'I don't want to be another Lavender!'

Ron froze in shock and slowly turned towards her. There were tears in her eyes, and when Ron met her gaze, Hermione buried her head in her hands. He'd never been more furious with himself. He should have told her years ago what she meant to him - what she would always mean to him. It sickened him to think that Hermione believed his only intention was to use her physically. He knelt down in front of her.

'Hermione, look at me.'

'No. Go away, Ron,' she said with a sniffle.

She was mental. Completely fucking mental. And he loved her and he wanted her and he fucking cherished her more than anything else in the whole bloody world. He wouldn't walk away from her now. Not ever again. Hermione was stuck with him.

He pulled his hands away from her face but she wouldn't look at him.

'Didn't I tell you,' he began, 'that I'd never leave you again? I may have told you that there's not one thing I wouldn't do for you. But leaving you is not one of them. It's my own fault for not being clearer.'

He watched silently as Hermione began to cry, wanting so badly to pull her into his arms and comfort her.

'Ron, please let go of me,' she said.

_Sod it, _Ron thought, and moved one of his hands to her face to wipe away her tears.

'Hermione, listen to me,' he said in a strong voice. 'You are not just another "Lavender" to me. You never have _been _and you never will _be_.'

Hermione finally met his gaze.

'What do you mean?'

Ron grinned. As nervous as he was, he was also excited to finally tell her that he, at the very least, fancied her.

'Merlin, Hermione,' he said shakily. 'Considering you're the most brilliant witch of our age, it's surprising to me you haven't figured it out yet.'

'Figured what out?' Hermione asked with a furrowed brow.

She was actually going to make him say it. Ron felt his whole face heat up and nervously bit his lip. _Just tell her, you fucking idiot!_

'Well ... ah ... I'm kinda ... um ... you see, the thing is ... ' He paused and cleared his throat. 'I'm completely mental about you,' he quickly said. His face was on fire.

'Excuse me?'

Ron sighed, unable to look at her. She had to have heard him. Why was she torturing him like this?

'Fuck, you're really gonna make me do that again?' he asked. 'Do you know how hard it was the first time?'

'I don't know if I heard you correctly. I just need to make sure.'

There was something about her tone that finally gave Ron the bollocks needed to stop blushing like an idiotic little girl and look at her. It sounded almost like ... hope.

'What is it you reckon you heard?'

He watched as Hermione closed her eyes, and waited impatiently for her to speak. She breathed deeply and her eyes opened.

'I thought I heard you say that you were completely mental about me.'

It would be so easy for Ron to just admit that she'd heard him right. But he wanted some sort of affirmation that it was she had hoped to hear. Warily, he looked at her.

'And is that ... is that what you wanted to hear?'

It was uncanny how he could actually feel her frustration, and if the circumstances didn't mean so much to him, he would have laughed. Anxiously, he waited.

'Yes,' she suddenly said.

He couldn't stop his smile. Yes. She had said yes. One word. A word spoken a million times a day by people all over the world. Ron felt like he'd been waiting his entire life to hear it uttered the way she just had.

'Really?'

'Yes.'

And there it was again.

'Does this mean you're completely mental over me?' he asked hopefully.

'Yes,' she said a third time.

'How long?' he asked. He wanted to know how many years he'd lost with her so he'd know how many times to bash his stupid head into a fucking wall.

'I suppose since second year. Maybe subconsciously before that,' she said. 'But it's when I became aware I saw you differently than Harry. I wasn't sure though, until third year, exactly what that difference was.'

'Wow,' Ron breathed. 'Why second year?'

Her features softened.

'You defended me against Malfoy.'

'I failed miserably at that,' Ron replied, as his face burned.

Hermione pulled him down to sit across from her.

'That doesn't matter, Ron. I'd known at that point since first year, that you would always defend the people you care about when you took on the position of a knight in that awful chess game and bravely sacrificed yourself so that Harry and I could continue on.' She stopped then, a thoughtful expression on her face. 'But when you defended me against Malfoy, that's when you became _my_ personal knight.'

Words failed him. Not knowing how else to respond, he kissed her hard, pushing his tongue past her lips. He knew even if he tried, he'd never be able to express to her what it meant to him to hear her call him her knight. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.

Hermione moved on to his lap and wrapped her legs around him, effectively muddling his thought process. And when she pulled herself closer to him, accidentally brushing against his hardened cock, Ron thought he would explode. He pulled away, groaning and swearing. To his surprise, rather than scold him or slap him, Hermione did it again. His teeth clenched, and he roughly grabbed her hips, stilling her movements.

'Damn it, Hermione.'

Hermione pouted.

'But it feels so good.'

Ron stared up at her in amazement.

'What?' she snapped. 'Is it so inconceivable that I'd enjoy something like this with you?'

Ron didn't answer her. He worried if he opened his mouth, he'd either start giggling madly or moan uncontrollably. He couldn't help but feel that she'd imagined them in this current position before. Maybe she did think of him when she wanked. He grinned at her like an utter fool and Hermione returned his smile.

'You're absolutely adorable,' she said unexpectedly and Ron felt his face flush. She stared at him with a bemused expression. 'And gorgeous.'

He glanced at her disbelievingly and she chuckled.

'So incredibly sexy,' she breathed.

The ridiculousness of Hermione calling him sexy instantly brought him down from his high. There was no way she could be that attracted to him. An insanely freckle-faced, pale, gangly, and bony-arsed ginger? No way in hell.

'You don't mean that,' he said.

'Yes, I do,' she replied.

How the hell could someone as perfect and gorgeous as Hermione not only find him attractive, but actually like him as a person? Hearing her call him sexy made the whole situation seem incredibly unrealistic and every insecurity he'd ever experienced came rushing to the surface.

'Why me?' he asked.

Hermione looked completely taken aback.

'I'm sorry?'

Ron sighed heavily before responding.

'Why me, Hermione? You're the smartest witch of our age. You're the one who's adorable, gorgeous, and sexy.' He stopped for a moment, bracing himself for what he'd say next. 'I reckon you could have any bloke. Someone better than me.'

'Ron!' she admonished.

'Honestly, Hermione,' he said. 'A better friend. Someone who'd buy you nice things just because he could ... someone better looking. Someone brave and loyal. Someone like H- ' he couldn't say it.

His head dropped as his mind was once again assaulted by a vision of Harry and Hermione eerily floating above the locket, closely entwined with one another. He swallowed back his bile and wished Hermione would tell him she loved him.

'Someone like who?' she asked instead, and Ron felt even more sick. So she was exploring her options.

'Someone like Harry,' he said blankly.

Hermione gaped at him.

'Ron, that's ... that's ... ' She obviously didn't know what to say and Ron mentally prepared himself for whatever word she'd use.

'Disgusting.'

Ron couldn't have heard her right.

'What?'

'Disgusting, Ron,' she cried. 'Insane. Ridiculous. Grotesque. Preposterous. Vomit-inducing! Practically incestuous!'

Ron gave her a wary look.

'Really?'

'Of course,' she replied. 'I've always seen Harry as a brother. To think of him any other way is just ... it's just mental.'

He gazed at her hopefully.

'You mean that?'

'Yes, you idiot!' she snapped.

Relief coursed throughout his body, and he chuckled softly against her skin as he pressed his lips to her neck.

'Good,' he whispered.

Hermione's body shook as her grip on him tightened.

'There's no one better than you, Ron,' she said quietly.

That was all he needed to hear and he kissed her. Hermione was too good of a person to lie to him, especially about something like this.

'Wait,' she said as she pulled away slightly.

He gazed at her longingly. Her words, just as much as her body, created an urgent need to bury himself deep inside of her, and he was struggling with every second that passed to move slowly and remain patient.

'I want to know when you realised it.'

He couldn't help but stare at her lips as she spoke and he gently rubbed his thumb over her mouth. Remembering she had asked him a question, he cupped her cheek rather than continue to tempt himself unnecessarily.

'Second year, as well,' he said.

'No,' Hermione gasped.

'Yes,' Ron laughed.

'That long?'

'Yes,' he said again. 'When you were petrified. I thank Merlin everyday that you were brilliant enough to carry a mirror.' Slowly, he lowered his hand to rest just above her heart. 'It makes me sick to think about what would've happened if you hadn't.'

'Oh, Ron,' she said as she touched his forehead with her own.

Ron held onto her tightly, trying to show her how much he loved her without actually saying it. He wanted to give her some idea, though.

'I've never felt this way before,' he said quietly.

'Me neither,' she said.

He kissed her then, if only to stop himself from revealing what he truly felt. She was so incredibly soft and warm, and he was desperate to feel more of her. Tentatively, he started to move her onto her back, and when she looked at him, he began to stop when Hermione gave him a slight nod. She lay beneath him and Ron hovered over her. He was trying to figure out what to do next when she shivered.

'Are you cold?' he asked.

Hermione gave him a cheeky grin.

'Quite the opposite.'

Ron's eyes widened. He finally understood what she was hiding from him earlier. He made Hermione feel ... _hot_. Fucking hell.

'I see,' he said.

He wanted to taste her. Preferably between her legs, but he knew she would think he was taking things too far. So he settled on her neck instead. Beneath him, Hermione whimpered and trembled and he felt heady with the power he had over her. He wanted to mark her in some way, to prove to the world she belonged to him. He sucked on her neck, and when she hissed and pulled him closer, he sucked harder. Satisfied with his work, he licked his way up her neck. He was so hard and he panted into her ear. That's when Hermione let out a loud gasp and wrapped her legs around him. Ron pulled away from her, swearing through clenched teeth. His cock was right there and he pushed up against her.

'Oh, god,' she moaned.

Judging by her reaction, she was enjoying herself, but he had to make sure this was what she wanted.

'Okay?' he asked her, even if he couldn't stop pressing himself against her.

She tilted her head back and moaned.

'Don't stop.'

Ron grunted and roughly pushed against her.

'I never will,' he promised.

Hermione writhed underneath him as her features contorted in the sexiest way. She pushed up her hips and Ron wanted more of her. He'd always want more because he would never be able to get enough of her. His hand moved down to the zip of her jumper and pulled it down when she made no move to stop him. His task completed, he moved the fabric aside and stared.

Even through her shirt and bra, he could see her nipples and his mouth watered. She was breathing heavily and Ron licked his lips, mesmerised by the way her tits moved with each breath.

Suddenly, she pushed up against him, breaking Ron's concentration and causing him to groan in pleasure. He, however, wanted her to be patient. He wasn't done staring.

He held her arms down, pressing the entire length of his body against her so that she couldn't move. She didn't protest; rather, she looked up at him with such a trusting expression. Ron was once more overcome to tell her he loved her, so he kissed her instead. He gave up on keeping her pinned down and he felt her grip on his waist tighten as she wildly rubbed herself against his cock. He pulled away from her to gasp loudly . He wanted her to feel as good as he did so he moved his head down and sucked on her nipple through the fabric of her clothing.

Her reaction was instantaneous. She cried out and shook underneath him, so he moved his lips over her other breast, marvelling at the sounds he was causing her to make. They were the same kinds of sounds he heard her making in the forest, but this time Ron knew she definitely wasn't in any pain. He desperately wanted to pull off her shirt, rip off her bra, and lick and suck her bare nipples, but the way she thrashed beneath him caused so much friction that he knew he'd come at any moment. He settled for resting his hand on her bare stomach instead, and her skin scorched his hand. His thrusts were becoming erratic and rough and he looked down at her.

'Not ... gonna last ... much longer ... ' he panted.

'M-me n-neither,' she choked out.

With the knowledge that she was as close as he was, Ron finally allowed himself the release he so badly needed.

'Fuck ... Hermione,' he groaned.

She bucked wildly beneath him.

'Ron!' she called out.

Hearing her call out his name when she came had Ron feeling extremely emotional and he gripped her tightly as they caught their breath. When they fully recovered, he pulled her up to sit next to him. He handed her his wand.

'You do it. I can't concentrate.'

'And I can?' she said incredulously.

Ron couldn't help but smirk with pride.

'Regardless, you'd still do a better job than me.'

She sighed, waved his wand, and cleaned them both.

'Better?' she asked.

'Much,' he said.

Silently, they looked at one another and Ron had never felt so close to her. She was so incredibly beautiful and he was already itching to touch her again. He gave in and brushed a stray curl away from her face, and then pulled her close so that her back rested against his chest. He felt a need to constantly touch her and kissed her softly on the back of the neck.

'Okay?' he said quietly. He wanted confirmation that she was completely comfortable with what had just happened.

She didn't answer for a long moment, and Ron began to feel anxious.

'Never better,' she finally said, and Ron let out a deep breath.

It seemed the sidekick now had his very own storyline.


End file.
